Life, it has a funny way of getting hectic and busy and sometimes downright overwhelming. I have been sitting on this website for over a year. Waiting for the right time, time when I would be less busy, less stressed, less scared. Reality is none of those things ever happened and yet here I am finally diving in.
“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.”
Hafiz of Shiraz
Years of therapy attempting to work out my anxiety and fear didn’t give me the sense of confidence I somehow thought was possible. I knew there had to be more, that I could leave my procrastination behind and get things done. So I found it and here I am. What may it be you ask? To go all cliche “Just do it”.
I had overlooked the feelings of fear and uneasiness that were running beneath the surface almost nonstop. Life was happening, but with a constant inner commentary about how things weren’t quite right, how I wasn’t good enough.
Getting out of the way has meant becoming very familiar with my inner world. Discovering what I do that makes me suffer, get stuck in the loop, and choose differently.
Amazingly, I was able to realize that you can press pause in any moment and step back from the momentum of old, recycled habits.
When I did, I could see what was actually happening: the pain of being stuck , the constricting effect of believing your thoughts, and the chaos that comes from letting your feelings rule.
So getting out of my own way looks like this:
Ask yourself, “In this moment, what do I really want to feel?”
Notice what is getting catching your attention. What are you holding onto.
Then, just for now, don’t hold onto your stressful stories. Let your feelings be without acting on them. This is the most loving way you can be with yourself.
Experience the space that remains when you are no longer hooked by thoughts and feelings. Even if only for a moment, you’ve discovered what it’s like to get out of the way. There is no need to change your thoughts or get rid of any emotions to get out of the way. Just become aware of your inner experience. Realize how defining yourself by it constrains you.
So that being said. I got out of my own way by acknowledging I was in my way.
It’s that simple.
Sondra Marcon Psychotherapist & Doula 